Dear Dr. Moron,

Apparantly you misunderstood what we meant on our message to you. We are trying to bill Medicare for your patient for her breathing medicine. That means we need some information from you. We need directions, we need a diagnosis code. We do not need the same script faxed to us 5 times. That doesn't do me any good without the correct information. Yes, I realize I'm asking a lot for you to actually realize what you are diagnosing her and billing her insurance for. No, sadly, I'm not capable of making that diagnosis. Yes, I can hear her wheezing. I can tell something isn't right, but sadly again, my handy dandy pocket chest x-ray machine is in the shop. Not able to do that today.

Yes, I realize that this is annoying for you. I understand that my calling you after ever fax you send, count 'em 5 faxes, all for the same thing, I understand that interferes with your busy schedule of, well I'm not so sure what you're doing with that busy schedule. Obviously you're not diagnosing patients, since you feel that we should be the ones doing that.

I find it hard to believe that no other pharmacist has ever requested this information from you. No, I'm not making all of this up. Oh look, here comes another fax. Oh look, it's the same as the other 5. So, while I have your attention, can you please remove your head from your ass and fix this so this poor little lady can get her meds?

Sincerely,
RphMommy
Disgruntled Pharmacist

P.S. I've been known to get gangsta. Don't make me get gangsta on you.

He hung up on me. We were finally able to get the meds for the lady three hours later, only a week after we made the original call.

Hiring people is F.U.N Fun!!

That last little shred of faith in humanity I had? Yeah, it's gone. After wading through 154 applications tonight and coming up with four, yes 4, that were actually worthy of persuing, I realized how depressing this was. This is not a good sign for humanity. Not a good sign at all.

People don't realize that we look at why you left your last job. We don't want to see, "had issues with boss" or "had problems with co-workers." All that tells us is that you have issues getting along with people. Did you stop to think that when you have this listed as the reason for leaving your last eight jobs that maybe the problem isn't them? That maybe, just maybe, it's you? Just a friendly suggestion. The word "quit" is also not enough info. Why did you quit? Were you being forced to do unethical things? That's one thing. Were you being forced to show up and be remotely productive? Damn those pushy bosses.

Please, make some sense. I actually saw this one today as a reason for leaving the last job, "boss's dog was biting other people." Say what? What did this have to do with you doing your job? Did the dog bite off one of your appendages? No? Then what's the deal? Elaborate please.

I laughed out loud reading one person's application. I guess the only job experience they had was baby-sitting. Under boss they listed themselves. And yes, they said we could contact their boss. Well, that's good. I hope they give you a good recommendation. Along those same lines I had "stay at home mom" listed. Now yes, that is a job. That is a harder job than anything I do. Trust me. Just don't list your husband's name as your boss. Show a little backbone there. I actually felt bad for that poor lady.

One more thing, if you've worked for the company before and are applying for another position, please, learn to spell the name of the company correctly. Please.

The Viagra mystique

A new trend I'm seeing at work is men coming in for the Viagra/Levitra/Cialis refills and wanting insane amounts of the pills. Say the script is written for 10 tabs with 10 refills. They want all 110 tabs. Sure, they're about $14 a pill. They don't care. They want them all, and they want them now.

Try telling them we don't have 110 Levitra in stock. Yeah. You would think we just told them we drown puppies behind the store. Nevermind that we'll have them in the next day. Nevermind that you can only take 1 per day (or 1 every 3 days with the Cialis, thank you "weekend pill").

God forbid they are out of refills on their man enhancers. Dude, I can call your doc for you, no big deal. No, it may not be right this second that they get back to me, but you can come back by later for them. No deal. I don't get it. Apparantly there are a lot of the over 60 set that are seeing A LOT more action than I am. Or at least that's how they want me to think.

Dear needle makers and other random drug companies,

I would like to personally thank you for confusing the crap out of one of my customers. Sure, you thought you'd be all cute and change your packaging. Sure, you look all modern and up to date now. Obviously you don't have to hear people bitch and moan about how they can't find their insulin syringes or they can't find the Tylenols that they like best. Oh, we have them, they're there. They just look different, so obviously they're not the same as they were before.

Yes, Mr. Needle Packaging Designer, I showed this one particularly crazy lady your new box, I showed her where it said specifically what she requested. However, she's going without her insulin dose (or using an old, dirty needle) because she didn't believe me. She's calling my boss tomorrow because I gave her a hard time.

It would be helpful if in the future, when you make these sorts of changes, you send a representative from your company to stand in my pharmacy and be my whipping boy. I can send all my complaints to you. You can explain why you are only confusing old people with your new fangled designs.

That is all.
Sincerely,
RphMommy

Quick update!

My niece is home and is doing much better. Many, many, many thanks for your prayers and thoughts. They have been greatly appreciated.

Miss Manners has some things to say.

(Disclaimer: That is NOT me. Please do not associate me with this picture. She scares me a little. I am not scary looking.)

Whatever happened to manners? Whatever happened to common courtesy? I found myself wondering this today.

Please: A person with good manners would not approach the pharmacy drop off window, thrust a [dirty, greasy] bottle in the pharmacist's face and say, "Fill this." A person with good manners would say, "Fill this, please." A person with good manners would also not let their bottle get all dirty and greasy, and if they did they wouldn't give it to anyone else to touch, but I digress.

Thank you: A person with good manners would say, "Thank you for spending two hours on the phone with my insurance company in order to correct the mistake my doctor made." Not, "Well damn, you could have done this before I came in." A person with good manners would not assume the pharmacist is psychic either.

Excuse me: A person with good manners would not interrupt a conversation between the pharmacist and another customer in order to ask where the douche is. It's not polite to broadcast your vaginal funkiness to members of the general population.

Modern etiquette also includes dressing properly for the occasion as crucial to having good manners (per The Wik). This includes wearing a bra with your spaghetti strap tank top, especially if you are over the age of 60 and your breasts fall somewhere around your knee caps.

Arriving promptly: It is not polite to show up to the pharmacy five minutes after closing time and then throw a hissy fit because you can't pick up a script your doctor wrote for you 8 months ago (probably for toothpaste). No, you don't have to have it RIGHT NOW. It can wait till morning. I promise.

That is all for today's lesson in proper etiquette. Although, I'm concerned that my fair readers aren't the ones who need the lesson. The ones that do are currently surfing porn sites or some other impolite sites.

Random acts of madness

First of all, it totally warmed my heart to see the responses to my prayer request post. It means a lot to me. A quick update, she's doing much better. Her blood pressure has stabilized, she's fighting/arguing with my sister, and is ready to go home. Hopefully she'll be released tomorrow. Thanks again.

Okay, have a few interesting notes to pass along to you tonight.

The GPIMB calls. "My eyedrops are making me sleepy."
No, your natural tears eyedrops are NOT making you sleepy. It's probably one of the 800 other meds you're on.
"No, no, no. I know it's the eyedrops. I use them and my eyes get sleepy."
I really couldn't tell you what she said for the rest of the 38 minute long conversation. I was trying to multi-task.

Some fashion advice, shirts that have the F word on them, even if the shirt says it like "F*******" are tacky. Way, way tacky. If you are so large, and the shirt is so tight that your rolls cover up part of the clever slogan, then you should probably change. Not a good look for anyone.

And a response from one of my techs about the incident the other day, I love her. She tells another tech, "I'm glad RphMommy was working. She handled those guys better than anyone else could have. She got all gangster telling them to get out of the pharmacy."
Me? Gangster? No-one has ever called me that before. I kind of like it. (The Husband just pointed out that it should be Gangsta. Whatevs, I like it either way.)

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!